Well another evening of boring endeavours has produced yet another shorter but slightly funkier short than the ones I have made before, I give you Rhonda's big debut music video, short and sweet like my little mannequin friend!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Kicking Open the Closet Door
Well after a fairly mad year in Galway after finishing college I have to say I've had a great time and a few changes became apparent in my life. Mind you they were only few and what I thought would make things radically different in my life only made everything become more normal to me. For those of you who now me that haven't heard (although I'm pretty sure most people do know by now at this stage) I came out over the year since last Summer as Gay or Homosexual if you will. I don't know how many of you will read this but I'd like to just use this as a platform for anyone who missed the news (not that it's a big deal really) to get to the rest of anyone who hasn't heard my "big news" as quoted by my mother. Apologies also to those who didn't know until now, announcing things like this in person becomes exhausting sometimes and since everyone I've been around lately seems to know I just flew with the "everyone knows" attitude. Also, I think anyone who finds out off this will have been more privileged than most of my family was when last Summer I drunkenly texted them at 4.30 in the morning via webtext online saying I was gay to them. It was an interesting wake up text for them!
My biggest regret is that I didn't tell people sooner.
"Seán O'Beirn has come out, and now the boys are lining up!"
So anyways, if any of you were wondering how long I was "hiding" this for I can give you a little backstory on it I suppose. I started to realise that I was gay between the age of 16-18 but I never admitted it to myself, it was all confustering and a little new to me. Just a little. There wasn't really much to this time period it was just something about myself I was suppressing or hiding because I found it embarrassing initially. We all deal with things our own way and I was dealing with this my way, which was basically ignoring what is instinct to me. I won't lie, it was stressful and and I used to pretend to myself thinking I could change, but it was never overwhelming at the same time so I never expected or wanted to garner pity for myself. When I was off to college however the new world of Galway became opportunity as I made a tonne of new friends and realised after meeting new people that I could ease up on my sexuality and become more acceptant of myself, it was the only way to go really. Also through the power of interweb and gay chat/dating sites I also made a few friends over the internet that were established around Galway, so that became a sort of doorway into the Gay community for me.
After the first year of college I came to admit to myself that I was gay, the biggest hurdle of them all in my opinion and after that things took a while but were certainly much easier. I made a good few gay friends over the college years and even secretly went on a date or two (oh my!) and also came out (drunkenly) to two of my college friends, but it was around the Summer of last year when I started hanging around a group of lads and girls who are gay that I really became at ease with my sexuality.
I began going to the scene on nights out towards the end of my final college year with this group and then once summer hit and the fact that I was living in Galway for it, I was going out with them constantly. It was all new to me yet refreshing that I was able to relax and relate to them about the same things that I was never able to do with my straight friends (I mean that in no bad way of course) and the more at ease I became the less I cared about what other people thought. I decided it was time to tell more people, my sister being the first because I lived with her at the time. I did this drunkenly as well, I have a thing for saying things when I'm drunk it seems. I suppose it was a cowardly way of doing it but in the end I said it which is still a big deal in the end. As it turns out now, I've never been happier with the results.
Then as I mentioned at the beginning I told my family and as the summer progressed it turned out my class in college knew and then I told some friends from home and yada yada. etc., it just all snowballed out of control and eventually turned into an avalanche so many people knew come the start of 2011. I was shocked at how little people cared, not that I expected them to being like "wtf!?" but more because no one even really asked me about it. Then I came to realise that being gay is just a part of my life and not what defines me which led me to think "why was I giving a shit all this time?". The Summer ended up being an absolutely mad binge of a first step but a great laugh in the end and it has become a very important stepping stone in my life.
When I did the Galway Pride and Limerick Pride they were both great experiences and all the time I was learning about how illy perceived the community was (for the most part) and, really, just how normal it was to be gay. Nothing was different. People would ask "Oh, what's it like to be gay?" and I just would say "What's it like being straight?". I find it funny because when you make people think like that, the difference ends up being very little. Sure we like the same sex, but the feelings are still all the same. A guy likes a guy the same way a guy likes a girl, or a girl likes a guy the same way a girl likes a girl, you can look at it from any gender but it doesn't matter, it's all the same feelings in the end which is the important part. It just so happens to be that I like guys myself instead of girls, that's all. Anyways I could end up going on and on about this stance I have on homosexuality but really I just wanted to let ye know how I came to embrace being gay and not caring that I was, so I'll leave this discussion at that!
Anyways, I have happily been out to many for a while and I had a great year (the year being a college year) and I won't bother going into the details of it but I've never been more comfortable with myself in my life. I wrote this mainly because I thought people who don't know deserve to know and those who wanted to know more now know...well, more! Although at the same time I have yet to see if anyone will even read this :P. I thank all of those who are cool with it and supportive, it's been great (Sorry I won't go into specific people, there's too many to thank for different reasons, but everyone knows how important they are in the end!) and for those of you who read this it is muchos appreciated that you took the time to.
There's not much else to here really, but I guess I could also use this as an opportunity to explain the unruly campiness of THIS:
After the first year of college I came to admit to myself that I was gay, the biggest hurdle of them all in my opinion and after that things took a while but were certainly much easier. I made a good few gay friends over the college years and even secretly went on a date or two (oh my!) and also came out (drunkenly) to two of my college friends, but it was around the Summer of last year when I started hanging around a group of lads and girls who are gay that I really became at ease with my sexuality.
I began going to the scene on nights out towards the end of my final college year with this group and then once summer hit and the fact that I was living in Galway for it, I was going out with them constantly. It was all new to me yet refreshing that I was able to relax and relate to them about the same things that I was never able to do with my straight friends (I mean that in no bad way of course) and the more at ease I became the less I cared about what other people thought. I decided it was time to tell more people, my sister being the first because I lived with her at the time. I did this drunkenly as well, I have a thing for saying things when I'm drunk it seems. I suppose it was a cowardly way of doing it but in the end I said it which is still a big deal in the end. As it turns out now, I've never been happier with the results.
"Aine..... I think I'm Gay"
Then as I mentioned at the beginning I told my family and as the summer progressed it turned out my class in college knew and then I told some friends from home and yada yada. etc., it just all snowballed out of control and eventually turned into an avalanche so many people knew come the start of 2011. I was shocked at how little people cared, not that I expected them to being like "wtf!?" but more because no one even really asked me about it. Then I came to realise that being gay is just a part of my life and not what defines me which led me to think "why was I giving a shit all this time?". The Summer ended up being an absolutely mad binge of a first step but a great laugh in the end and it has become a very important stepping stone in my life.
When I did the Galway Pride and Limerick Pride they were both great experiences and all the time I was learning about how illy perceived the community was (for the most part) and, really, just how normal it was to be gay. Nothing was different. People would ask "Oh, what's it like to be gay?" and I just would say "What's it like being straight?". I find it funny because when you make people think like that, the difference ends up being very little. Sure we like the same sex, but the feelings are still all the same. A guy likes a guy the same way a guy likes a girl, or a girl likes a guy the same way a girl likes a girl, you can look at it from any gender but it doesn't matter, it's all the same feelings in the end which is the important part. It just so happens to be that I like guys myself instead of girls, that's all. Anyways I could end up going on and on about this stance I have on homosexuality but really I just wanted to let ye know how I came to embrace being gay and not caring that I was, so I'll leave this discussion at that!
Anyways, I have happily been out to many for a while and I had a great year (the year being a college year) and I won't bother going into the details of it but I've never been more comfortable with myself in my life. I wrote this mainly because I thought people who don't know deserve to know and those who wanted to know more now know...well, more! Although at the same time I have yet to see if anyone will even read this :P. I thank all of those who are cool with it and supportive, it's been great (Sorry I won't go into specific people, there's too many to thank for different reasons, but everyone knows how important they are in the end!) and for those of you who read this it is muchos appreciated that you took the time to.
There's not much else to here really, but I guess I could also use this as an opportunity to explain the unruly campiness of THIS:
My biggest regret is that I didn't tell people sooner.
Till next time, toodles!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
My Friend Rhonda
As long as I've had this blog for I've always struggled after the initial first 15 posts to come up with something worth talking about. Mind you, it's not like everything else I've posted was worthwhile.... But I can't believe I've gone on as long as I have without talking about my friend Rhonda, whom I met 3 years ago and boy oh boy, have we hit off since.
But first, let's do a little backtracking on Rhonda's life. Born in a factory and full time worker in a Wedding Dress shop until 3 years ago, Rhonda had a tumultuous life of ravaging beauty and past work factory hardships. But alas after a wonderful yet gruelling 12 years, Rhonda got her big break when she first met the O'Beirn's. Realising she needed to be loved and cared for (and dressing her in absoFAB outfits!) we took her under our featherless wings and taught her how to have a really good time. Yes, Rhonda learned how to enjoy life to the fullest.
P.S. For those of you who don't believe, this IS all actually a true story, possibly a bit dramatised! :P
But first, let's do a little backtracking on Rhonda's life. Born in a factory and full time worker in a Wedding Dress shop until 3 years ago, Rhonda had a tumultuous life of ravaging beauty and past work factory hardships. But alas after a wonderful yet gruelling 12 years, Rhonda got her big break when she first met the O'Beirn's. Realising she needed to be loved and cared for (and dressing her in absoFAB outfits!) we took her under our featherless wings and taught her how to have a really good time. Yes, Rhonda learned how to enjoy life to the fullest.
Say Hello to Rhonda
As evident from the picture above, Rhonda is a striking beauty who is capable of wearing many different styles as well as mixing them, like a wedding dress, a winter cap and a neck brace. She's some woman for one woman.
We had trouble with Rhonda when we first brought her into our home. She was incredibly shy and used to always hide in the bathroom under the stairs. Even worse, she could never decide what to wear so most of the time she just moved around the house in the nip, always alarming guests... and foes. But as the summer progressed, Rhonda WARMED UP to the idea of wearing a wonderful flourel/Hawaiian themed outfit making the bathroom visits much more pleasant and cheerful for all involved. Rhonda became a instant hit with everyone who came into contact with her and while she never talked she would always listen to your problems and crisis's, her half smile and distant-yet-thought-provoking look always letting you know that hope was around the corner. She truly became an inspiration and beacon for all.
As the Summer came to an end, Rhonda and I had formed an unprecedented bond unexpected to either of us. But fate would try and split us apart as I had to return to college and she stay in Castlebar to mind my family. Or so I thought.... not too long after moving into my new house in The Village, I awoke to find Rhonda had returned to me, she must've hitch hiked all the way to Galway just to find me. It was good to have her back.
It was good to have her back.
Rhonda hung and partied with us till the moon sank low and the sun rose high. She touched as many people in Galway as she did at home (even after the tragic loses of her hands). She starred in films and wore many new cool and unique outfits to match how she felt about the seasons while also stealing a few of my own clothes. Yes Rhonda came back with a vengeance, a vengeance we were all pleased to be part of.
As parties and time passed it was not long until my third and final year in college was beginning and Rhonda and I moved on into a new house in Moneenageisha Court. Little did either of us know, tragedy was just around the corner...
The final year of college became difficult as work piled on and juggling it with a part time job gave me less time to spend with Rhonda and friends. This took a toll on our relationship as Rhonda began to party more and become less and less caring about the damage she was causing around us. I began to argue with her and she responded by giving me the silent treatment, clearly thinking she was in the right and I the wrong. But the true tragedy stuck one fateful night. For once, everyone was enjoying themselves at a get together, drinks were had, dances were attempted and photos were captured all retelling a wonderful tapestry of the night. The next day became a stark contrast to the pleasant evening. In the cold grey hours of morning I arose to stumble for a glass of water for my parched body. I went downstairs to the kitchen pouring the glass but instantly feeling something wasn't right, something was missing, something big and irreplaceable.
Rhonda was gone.
In a panic I woke my housemates asking had they seen where she had left to. They all became as distraught as I did as we interviewed and questioned everyone at the party from the night before. Time passed and the that "hope around the corner" attitude Rhonda always conveyed began to fade. All I wanted now was a Rhonda around the corner. Months passed and no sign or word appeared. Until one day in college on the notice board a foreboding sign appeared. Rhonda was being held at an undisclosed location and RANSOM was written under a picture of a black figureen holding a knife to her neck. Tape was over her poor little mouth so she couldn't scream for help. Everyone became up in arms as a new search began. Noone trusted anybody, it was clear that while Rhonda formed bonds over time she could also break them, unintentionally of course.
Everything became intense. But things nearly imploded when a new ransom appeared at Christmas time; a boot to Rhonda's head with the title underneath stating "will she be home for christmas?". It was truely harrowing and upsetting for all who saw. I became feverish, saying to everyone that if ANY sign appeared of her whereabouts, just let me know. I was truly distraught, even going as far as trying to match Rhonda's fashion endeavours:
I could never pull this off, but Rhonda could
But my prayers became answered! After a mysterious evening time ring of the doorbell I raced to the door, answering it to no one. I looked left and right, no sign of what caused the doorbell to ring. Then, I looked down. Rhonda lay on the doorstep, wearing a bin bag and a sign around her neck saying "Benn Drinkin'". "RHONDA!!" I screamed happily as my housemates came racing to see the heap of joy on the doorstep! "YOU'RE BACK!!". We brought her inside and let her stand in the warmth of our love as we wondered what she had been through. But Rhonda already had that explanation covered, on her back was a letter informing us of the events that had unfolded after her alleged kidnapping. For the first time ever it has been put up for all to see:
She proceeded to tell me the truth of her failings and apologised for the last time again. We forgave her, it was an emotional moment. As for the time between then and now, Rhonda has been doing what she always does best, listening to peoples problems in dark corners of random rooms in houses.... and partying out really hard!
Since then, Rhonda has also gone on to star in two important film roles, I give you them now:
And...
P.S. For those of you who don't believe, this IS all actually a true story, possibly a bit dramatised! :P
Friday, June 3, 2011
Like, TOAST!
Well my friends, here is another result of the hardworking efforts of my filmmaking degree! Special thanks to Niall Patrick Walsh for acting and Colin Watts for being on camera letting me use his FAB apartment! Enjoy our swirling delusion world of idiocricy!
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