Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Prospect of a New Year

Happy New Years (and Jesus Day!) to all, during the last week or two I have been struggling to become a normal human being again after copious amounts of partying and eating so much that I could spend a year in the toilet. That was a lie, I've actually only been out a few times over both Xmas and for New Years. Anyways with the New Years comes all these lofty expectations we make for ourselves. I actually haven't made any resolutions as my quitting smoking would have been it, maybe I should just take it up and use it for next years one? Only the day before though.... or maybe the year before. In a sort of ironic way I think that fitness is a lazy one to come up with (that sentence destroyed a galaxy before), and I figure that once I drop the pooh bomb while listening to the inception soundtrack I will deflate to normal size again.

"Ellen Page eats a lot during Xmas too"

I always find it super duper hard to come up with a resolution though being the PERFECT human sample I am and potential UFO abductee candidate. That was also a lie, I'm an Alien. Maybe I should stop lying as a resolution? The best way really to come up with a new years resolution I figure is to look back on what I've learnt throughout the year. Unfortunately none of these things I've learnt have been in anyway beneficial to my life but all I can do is list them off in hope of finding SOME resolution, I'll give it a Yay or Nay if it's something that needs rectifying:

1. No matter how hard you try, strutting while listening to music is inevitable. (Nay, I look stupid consistently)
2. You are not winning money at the ATM. (Yay, I am only spending)
3. Shots always win. (Yay, stop drinking shots)
4. You become inherently productive when drunk. (Yay, this has proved hazardous for me on multiple occassions, just go to bed people)
5. Impulse buying when hungover does not a better day make. (Yay, this usually starts a tea and toast diet)
6. I think I see some sort of pattern here:

YAY, now I see a particularly beneficial resolution. If you didn't notice, this list actually (and naturally) assembled itself into the spending pattern of a night out. There is only one solution to this: Buy cheaper drink!

"YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!"

I jest, I actually do want to drink less, it's a reasonable resolution and I do become much more productive when I'm not hungover every 2nd or 3rd day. Such as this crappy blog, or writing or blada yada yada. Maybe I can start working on practical jokes, like running into the middle of a Veteran's Day Memorial and screaming the time from a 24 hour clock. In the opposite of retrospect though, that might kill off the remaining veteran's inadvertently, so I guess my idea of practical jokes might prove hilariously fatal. I can see the headlines already "In a Series of comical events, 100 people die".

My real focus this year is to save money and get myself some not needed but beneficial items, like a new laptop and a camera. And NOT a HP laptop. I think HP really means Huge Penis as in, they're a corporation of gigantic dicks raping the consumer. I'd also like to get myself a fancy DSLR camera so I can begin to shoot my own little shorts so I can finally begin to put mah degree in Film and TV to some use. For those of you around, any hand in this would be muchos appreciated although it comes with a word of warning, it may reduce your social status a wee biteen if this is any example:


Pooor Katie...... Anyways along with the buying of things, Canada seems like a viable selection of career advancing so I hope to pay visit there and maybe you'll be in the cinema in a few years to see The Fiancee: Stand Still While I Shoot. Alas as with any plans, resolutions or ideas, they're all in our little monkey heads and it's one thing to say them than to enact them. If we were just more Jack Bauer then we would always get the results.

Anyways that's my brain spent for the day. What ya'll up to for this year; resolutions, plans and etc.? Throw em at me if you feel like dropping a comment!

2 comments:

  1. Consistently I see the word "hangover" in your blog, your new years resolution should be to give up hangovers and stay drunk
    My new years resolution is to not enjoy the pleasure of putting on socks

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  2. You always did make the tough one Fearg!

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