Sunday, June 12, 2011

My Friend Rhonda

    As long as I've had this blog for I've always struggled after the initial first 15 posts to come up with something worth talking about. Mind you, it's not like everything else I've posted was worthwhile.... But I can't believe I've gone on as long as I have without talking about my friend Rhonda, whom I met 3 years ago and boy oh boy, have we hit off since.

     But first, let's do a little backtracking on Rhonda's life. Born in a factory and full time worker in a Wedding Dress shop until 3 years ago, Rhonda had a tumultuous life of ravaging beauty and past work factory hardships. But alas after a wonderful yet gruelling 12 years, Rhonda got her big break when she first met the O'Beirn's. Realising she needed to be loved and cared for (and dressing her in absoFAB outfits!) we took her under our featherless wings and taught her how to have a really good time. Yes, Rhonda learned how to enjoy life to the fullest.


Say Hello to Rhonda

   As evident from the picture above, Rhonda is a striking beauty who is capable of wearing many different styles as well as mixing them, like a wedding dress, a winter cap and a neck brace. She's some woman for one woman.

    We had trouble with Rhonda when we first brought her into our home. She was incredibly shy and used to always hide in the bathroom under the stairs. Even worse, she could never decide what to wear so most of the time she just moved around the house in the nip, always alarming guests... and foes. But as the summer progressed, Rhonda WARMED UP to the idea of wearing a wonderful flourel/Hawaiian themed outfit making the bathroom visits much more pleasant and cheerful for all involved. Rhonda became a instant hit with everyone who came into contact with her and while she never talked she would always listen to your problems and crisis's, her half smile and distant-yet-thought-provoking look always letting you know that hope was around the corner. She truly became an inspiration and beacon for all.

    As the Summer came to an end, Rhonda and I had formed an unprecedented bond unexpected to either of us. But fate would try and split us apart as I had to return to college and she stay in Castlebar to mind my family. Or so I thought.... not too long after moving into my new house in The Village, I awoke to find Rhonda had returned to me, she must've hitch hiked all the way to Galway just to find me. It was good to have her back.

It was good to have her back.

    Rhonda hung and partied with us till the moon sank low and the sun rose high. She touched as many people in Galway as she did at home (even after the tragic loses of her hands). She starred in films and wore many new cool and unique outfits to match how she felt about the seasons while also stealing a few of my own clothes. Yes Rhonda came back with a vengeance, a vengeance we were all pleased to be part of.

    As parties and time passed it was not long until my third and final year in college was beginning and Rhonda    and I moved on into a new house in Moneenageisha Court. Little did either of us know, tragedy was just around the corner...

   The final year of college became difficult as work piled on and juggling it with a part time job gave me less time to spend with Rhonda and friends. This took a toll on our relationship as Rhonda began to party more and become less and less caring about the damage she was causing around us. I began to argue with her and she responded by giving me the silent treatment, clearly thinking she was in the right and I the wrong. But the true tragedy stuck one fateful night. For once, everyone was enjoying themselves at a get together, drinks were had, dances were attempted and photos were captured all retelling a wonderful tapestry of the night. The next day became a stark contrast to the pleasant evening. In the cold grey hours of morning I arose to stumble for a glass of water for my parched body. I went downstairs to the kitchen pouring the glass but instantly feeling something wasn't right, something was missing, something big and irreplaceable.

Rhonda was gone.

   In a panic I woke my housemates asking had they seen where she had left to. They all became as distraught as I did as we interviewed and questioned everyone at the party from the night before. Time passed and the that "hope around the corner" attitude Rhonda always conveyed began to fade. All I wanted now was a Rhonda around the corner. Months passed and no sign or word appeared. Until one day in college on the notice board a foreboding sign appeared. Rhonda was being held at an undisclosed location and RANSOM was written under a picture of a black figureen holding a knife to her neck. Tape was over her poor little mouth so she couldn't scream for help. Everyone became up in arms as a new search began. Noone trusted anybody, it was clear that while Rhonda formed bonds over time she could also break them, unintentionally of course.

    Everything became intense. But things nearly imploded when a new ransom appeared at Christmas time; a boot to Rhonda's head with the title underneath stating "will she be home for christmas?". It was truely harrowing and upsetting for all who saw. I became feverish, saying to everyone that if ANY sign appeared of her whereabouts, just let me know. I was truly distraught, even going as far as trying to match Rhonda's fashion endeavours:


I could never pull this off, but Rhonda could

   But my prayers became answered! After a mysterious evening time ring of the doorbell I raced to the door, answering it to no one. I looked left and right, no sign of what caused the doorbell to ring. Then, I looked down. Rhonda lay on the doorstep, wearing a bin bag and a sign around her neck saying "Benn Drinkin'". "RHONDA!!" I screamed happily as my housemates came racing to see the heap of joy on the doorstep! "YOU'RE BACK!!". We brought her inside and let her stand in the warmth of our love as we wondered what she had been through. But Rhonda already had that explanation covered, on her back was a letter informing us of the events that had unfolded after her alleged kidnapping. For the first time ever it has been put up for all to see:


She proceeded to tell me the truth of her failings and apologised for the last time again. We forgave her, it was an emotional moment. As for the time between then and now, Rhonda has been doing what she always does best, listening to peoples problems in dark corners of random rooms in houses.... and partying out really hard!

Since then, Rhonda has also gone on to star in two important film roles, I give you them now:


And...


P.S. For those of you who don't believe, this IS all actually a true story, possibly a bit dramatised! :P

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